The Daffodil Chronicles

Happy 2010!!!

2010-01-04T11:51:00.000-06:00

Ok so 2009 was a total sham. I never blogged but maybe the first day. Im quite sure the busyness had taken over like the black plague, but no fear, I'm here. Well....for the moment! I have a few awesome projects I will be sharing soon so stay tuned. (haha as if there is anyone to stay tuned seeing its been a whole year!!) But Im sure I will make some new blogger friends soon.

I am so excited about this year. Usually I wake up Jan1st and break out my list of resolutions, wondering...how in the heck will I ever complete these!!!??? And then I go back to bed and think...Ohh, Ill start tomorrow. Excuses, excuses!

This year I plan on changing my focus. "Its not about me" is the theme!!

Ill be posting some great stuff soon!

Gretchin

Junking the Junk in 2009

2008-12-22T21:37:00.004-06:00

So well, how do I start. As 2008 nears it final moments I have been really thinking hard as to what 2009 will bring. 2008 has been one of my best and worst years, spiritually speaking. In 2008 my dedication and growth in my spiritual walk topped a high score and yet 7 months into the year I also fell to my lowest ever. It seems kind of strange to have two such opposite ends, both quite extreme. A friend told me that the closer we get to God, the more a threat we become to satan. Let's just say satan was up to bat and my life was grand slammed out of the ballpark. Thankfully there was a good friend in the stands who rose up and grabbed me.

I feel like I am starting over again. No, no, I am starting over again, it's not just a feeling. In 2009 there are so many things I would like to change and do-over. Not like the I need to lose weight (which I do) resolutions I usually make, but the true soul searching, God searching things I want in my life and quite a few things I need to get rid of. Getting rid of things isnt really my specialty. I tend to be more of a pack rat. I can recall numerous time when I pull something out of a drawer that has been there for 5 years and thinking, "Well I thought I would need this". 2009 is going to be my Junking the Junk year. There are some closets in this heart that need a bit more than some reorganization, heck, they need the dump truck to pull up close!

My blogging I hope will be more continual in 2009 also. Although I have quite a hectic schedule I would like to update it at least once a week, so hopefully I can reconnect with my blog friends.

Until next time!
Gretchin

2008-10-07T13:15:00.002-05:00

Into the darkness
Feelings of safety and fear
a familiar place, why am I here?

Long ago left behind
for a pure and rich light
but the flickering brought hopelessness into sight

I wonder why I am here?
What brought me back?
To a place I ran from and turned my back.

The light that once took residence
reflecting the glimmering in my eyes
now only shades of dark sorrow shadow the lonely cries.

Why am I here?
Who have I become?
When will I be rescued?

I feel so numb.

Like a winter night so dark and cold
Knee deep in confusion, the hurt unfolds
Why am I here?

Entangled in bitterness
Rage cloaked around me so tight
Trapped in the secrecy of my iniquities
Why am I here tonight?

My questions unanswered
Prayers with no response
Anger swelling like a thousand bee stings,

I know why I'm here.

But how do I get out?

Still Single. Still Hating It.

2008-08-15T22:03:00.005-05:00

Since the day I left my sons father I have had a hard time with being single. I am not just single but a single parent of two wonderful children. I knew in the beginning of my single-hood that rushing into a relationship would only stop me from a healing of my heart and mind that I could only trust the Lord for. Unlike my very spontaneous ex who rushed into the next relationship with a beautiful blonde bombshell, and lets not forget to mention, that she was also a quite financially stable woman too, which included new cars, a boat,and matching motor cycles. Ouch! Talk about a knife in the heart. I felt I couldn't even compare. The man who broke my heart had found the perfect woman and I hated her. Even more so I hated that I was single! I wanted to show him up, get some hot, studly, rich man and drive by in our new 700 series BMW laughing and enjoying our new romance so that he could grovel over what he had missed! Ok, I know, its just a vengeful fantasy but ohhh how I wanted that to happen. That was 3 years ago.

Since then the blonde bombshell dumped his sorry tail and he moved onto someone more in his league. Yes, yes, this did make me smile, just a bit. (I think its a hurt ex thing, Im getting better though) lol

Throughout the last 3 years I have turned to the Lord for healing. This breakup had taken its toll on me to the extreme and I needed Gods love and mercy like never before. Today I believe God has fully healed me from the brokenness I felt from the breakup but the desire to have a husband has not gone away. I miss the intimate relationship between a man and a woman, and Im not specifically just speaking of sex here. I have gone back and forth with feeling left behind by God and have sought temorary relational fixes to extinguish the flames of desire, even for just a moment. They never worked. They left me empty, shamed, embarrassed, and feeling even more unloved.

This past year I have given myself to God in a way that I had never before. I guess I felt this need to "get right" so to speak and know Him in a greater way. To understand His love like I never had and lean on Him to fulfill the desires I couldn't rid myself of. I must say God has taken me on a journey I never could have expected. It has been amazing. He has filled places in my heart that I wasnt sure could be filled ever again, with or without a husband. He has taught me so much about Him and His love for me. So I sit here wondering today why it is that this desire still isnt fully filled.

I still long to meet a Godly man whom I will marry. Someone I will look up to, respect, admire, love, and cherish. I dont expect perfection in the least. I myself am far from perfect. I have struggled with understanding what it is I need to do to be good enough in Gods eyes for Him to bless me in such a way. This got me to thinking. I have an array of single friends. I recently had a good friend get married and I wondered what I had done wrong that God did not bless me the same way? But was it that I did something wrong? I have other more dedicated Christian friends that if that was the case would have been married before this friend. So how does it happen? I have come to realize that it cant be fully because of our actions, dedication, etc. And if its just "God's timing" (which is a phrase I am soooooo sick of hearing!!!) then what is the hold up?

I have literally heard every reason a Christian could offer up.

You need to focus on God
Maybe you should settle for someone and hope they become a Christian
It's in God's timing not yours (If I hear this again I will probably cuss like a trucker!...LOUD!)
You need to just focus on your kids
Maybe you have the "gift of singleness" (gift????)
You're not looking hard enough or not putting yourself "out there"
You're too picky, you can't put God in a box with your own ideas
You aren't embracing your singleness as a gift

If I hear one more pathetic excuse or weak suggestion for why I am single or what I should do about it, I will scream!!!

Even as I sit here typing this I dont understand. My friends are getting married left and right. If they arent getting married they are already married and my single friends list is dwindling down. I feel so left out. I feel so left behind. Of all the desires of my heart this one is one of the biggest. The one I pray for daily. The one that brings tears to my eyes wondering how a father so loving could watch His daughter sit back and see so many people around her receive the blessing of marriage and yet not allow it for me.

I'm still single. And just like in the beginning, minus the vengeful feelings towards the ex, I still hate every bit of my singleness.

iPods for Africa

2008-08-04T20:18:00.005-05:00

Would you like to get solid biblical teaching into the hands of hungry African Pastors? So would we!

This is the beginning of a new ministry with the goal of utilizing millions of unused iPods to make disciples and carry the Gospel to all nations. The concept is simple. You donate your iPod, we pack it with solid biblical teaching and send it to an African Pastor.

Step#1 Send Us Your iPod

iPods4Africa
5702 Timber Ridge Dr
Prospect KY, 40059

Step #2. Your iPod will be Wiped and Loaded with Awesome Biblical Teaching

Step #3 Your iPod will be Sent to an African Pastor

Its that simple!

To donate Click Here!

The Porn Talk

2008-08-04T12:33:00.003-05:00

90% of 8-16 year olds have viewed porn online (most while doing homework).

About a month ago my 7 year old son had a neighbor kid over to play. They went into his room, played some video games and then he went home. Average kids doing average things. Later that night my son came out into the kitchen to heat a snack in the microwave. He said mom, guess what "neighbor kid" told me? He said he went on his moms computer before she woke and up and searched "Girls having sex". "Mom, what' sex?" WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh I just wanted to scream!! My stomach dropped like I had just just tipped over the top of a vary large roller coaster and was on my way down to something I had feared ever coming to. Although I wanted to scream I took a deep breath and tried to approach the subject non-chalantly, as to not scare him or make him not talk about it. (But I was screaming inside!!)

I wondered how it is you approach the online porn subject with a seven year old? I thought I still had a few years before this moment, I guess I was wrong. With the internet I think kids have a portal to really anything that sparks curiosity if parental controls haven't been turned on yet. Needless to say, they have been turned on now.

As I sat in his bed talking with him I explained sex the best I could to my seven year old "baby". I tried to not make it sound like some top secret thing. I wanted him to know that it was an act God made and it was for husband and wives, and that it was a beautiful thing. I didnt dive into explicit detail but I just explained that there although it was a beautiful thing that if done before marriage it could bring a lot of pain and harm. I told him that at his age he had plenty other things to do and think about besides sex. Like...playing at the park, video games, riding bikes. Ok, ok, I know...bad counter examples but what do you say to a seven year old??

So the next day "neighbor kid" comes over. My son tells him that he told me and they are not in trouble! He said it was no big deal and that they shouldnt be thinking about that stuff because there were so many others things they could be doing! I was so proud of him!! He addressed the issue so calmly and hey, he was right, they could be doing so many other things!

Then...yes then....

My son says...Yeah, other things, liiiiikkkkke..."Kiss girls and stuff like that". WHAT!!!!??????!!!!!!!!!! My mouth dropped and the earlier held back screaming came bursting out. oops.

"I never said you could kiss girls, I SAID, you could ride bikes or play at the park, NOT kiss girl "and things like that".!!!!!!!! (all said very loudly in my best mom is REALLY ticked off tone.)

I handled the situation the best I knew how. How would you have handled it?

If you are now wondering yourself what you will do if this comes up I found a web site today that gives ideas on how to approach the "porn" issue as a parent. I only briefly read through but it seems pretty legit.

www.theporntalk.com

More Trust with Each Day

2008-08-03T12:06:00.004-05:00

Ok so God is at work.

No seriously. Like....at work WORK.

A lot has been going through my mind lately. I have storms on the horizon. Big storms.

God has been prodding me to give more. More of me.

More Faith, More trust, More of everything I have.

My net worth is probably at about negative zero right now with not having a job. Times seem rougher than usual. And yet I hear God saying, still...give me more Gretchin.

Trust me.

Trust me to provide your every need, each and every day.

The storm winds are blowing hard and fast.

This has brought me to remember the story in 1 Kings 17 about the widow and her son. They had nothing, well almost. She was sure she would prepare her last meal for them, as they had nothing else, and surely they would starve to death. But then Elijah came and asked that she feed him.

At this moment of the story, speaking from a mothers perspective, who would YOU feed? The stranger or your child?

Yet the woman, puts her trust in the Lord. She not only feeds him, she feeds him first. She put his need above her own. In what seems like no surprise ending, God saves the day and provides for them each and every day. So if it's no surprise, then why is it, when we are faced with giving all we have, even before we satisfy ourselves, we worry?

Today I became that woman and it was no easy choice. Picture stepping off a cliff and trusting God will catch you. That's the kind of stomach dropping, deep breath moment this was. I know God will provide. But to be honest, I'm still a little shook up. This was really hard for me and it shouldnt have been. But I know God is refining me in many ways right now. I know He is calling me to put all of my trust in Him who provides for me, protects me, and loves me more than I can imagine.

Today I put my hope and Trust in the same God who gave me life. The God who knit me in my mother's womb. The God who answered the cries of David and gave a nation into his hands. And that's the God I praise everyday. For blessing and storms. For I know that I am being refined and my faith is made stronger through each storm endured.

Thank you God for giving me an opportunity to trust more than I ever have. I praise you as I sit and hope in You, and You alone.

Searching for a Floating ASSurance!

2008-08-01T16:05:00.003-05:00

How often do we see God as someone who can only do so much? How many times do we say things like "What are the chances..(fill in the blank)?"

We need, pray for needs, and yet are in complete and total disbelief when it happens. Take for instance the men and women praying for Peter to get out of jail. They prayed! They believed! Then the knock came and what happened next?

A girl named Rhoda was in such disbelief that she forgot to open the door screaming...Peter is at the door!!!!

And what did those men and women who prayed,and believed God for a miracle then do...

They said "You're out of your mind girl!" They didnt believe the prayer was answered. Where had all their faith gone? What did they think would happen when they prayed? Did they doubt their prayers would reach the ear of the Almighty? Or that the Almighty would just ignore them,(and they thought...) but hey, at least they had prayed! ;)

As unbelievable as seeing a donkey float by in a boat, I saw the hand of God reach out and bless me in the most unexpected of ways yesterday. It may have even been stranger than the donkey! The donkey seemed more reasonable that "this" happening! Im sure you get it, and have had some experiences of the sort before.

Isnt God good! Why is it that when we pray we dont expect to see great things?

I'm a walking testimony to say to anyone who reads this. Expect people! Expect!

1 Chronicles 5:20 said...He answered their prayers, because they trusted in him.

Yes, trust! Prayed and trusted! Expect God to do great things and trust in Him. He hears you!

1 John 5:14 says..This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

And yesterday, like each day of my life, God heard me. He heard my cries and he answered.

Amazing!

Next time you think that "seeing a donkey float by in a boat" probably won't happen...think again! Don't ASSume He wont and end up looking like our friend in the boat =)

Jesus of Suburbia

2008-07-30T14:08:00.008-05:00

As I have begun to read Pastor Frances Chan's new book Crazy Love I can't help but to feel immediate inspiration in my everyday actions. For so long I knew I was longing for more. More of Christ. More wisdom & understanding. More commitment to a goal. Pastor Chans example is one that shows me a modern day example of Jesus, in todays society.

Maybe its that I had a hard time relating the times then, with today. I have always known to take what Jesus said as relevant, even today. But maybe I knew it but hadnt lived it. Maybe because I couldnt see those actions around me, in the Christians I am surrounded by, I thought my "piece" of what I gave everyday was enough. I have lived for so long in comfy suburbia, sucking down Starbucks and singing Gods praises for our blessed lives never wondering if I was even close to Gods vision for my life.

My vision was for a family, a nice suburban neighborhood with good schools, newer SUV, sports practice, and Sunday worship & praise! So what does that make my goal? A comfy, cushioned Christian life with no outer thought of the world around me. I figured I was good. I went to church, bible study, had Christian friends and mentors. I tried to not sin, of course always failing, but hey..I hadnt murdered anyone, so my way of suburban Christianity must be all right with God.

Please know that I am not saying God wants me to give it all up and live in the slums. Although if He said it I would go. But I just began to feel that there must be more. God has given me this warrior heart. In my youth I used it for rebellion but later in life realized how much good, a heart like mine could be used for. I have a voice, a loud one I might add. I stand of for injustice. I have no problem stating facts or opinions. God made me a certain way and honestly I began to feel like I was abusing it, constantly wondering....there must be more!

As I began to read Chan's book those feelings of more flooded me. This time backed with a plan. Live as Christ lived, do as Christ did, love as Christ loved. The words are simple. I have heard it before. Why hadnt I gotten it though? Why hadnt the plan, the same plan that has been in front of me all along taken on a full understanding in my mind?

And so I started to think. I am only one very small piece of all of God's creation, yet I am so loved and so cherished by Him. Christ died so that I could live...forever. There must be great plans ahead for me but what are they? And then the words of Christ flooded, once again, through my thoughts.

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”-

Me? A city that can not be hidden? A light to all those I am surrounded by? Meeeeee?!?! (insert frantic screaming)

It doesnt say I am going to be a light. It doesnt say I am going to be a city that can not be hidden. It says I am!

How can I abuse what gift has been given to me? How I hide the love of Christ that has been bestowed upon me?

I must be honest...
This "city" that cant be hidden has tried for so long to hide under the rock of "I dont want to offend anyone". Have you hidden under that rock? I have stopped myself from saying things to non-Christians that maybe God had intended me to say. I don't "push" my religion on anyone. Matter a fact religion doesn't mean too much to me. Religion has lead people astray. Let people down. Abused people. And has ultimately been viewed quite negatively amongst many.

I was on the FedEx site one day and came across a link to the lists of items restrictions per country. Hmm, interesting. There were so many places who listed the Bible. Of course it was listed right under salmon, which I didnt really get. People reject religion. "Religious" people have long been hypocritical in their ways and to the non-believers they have been the prime example as to why they don't believe. Can we blame them? I know my examples have been far from the bulls-eye too many times and I will probably stand judged one day because of this.

So it comes down to the fact that I want a change. I want a goal. I want a mission where my warrior heart will lead me into the battlefield for Christ! I dont mean violent battles, I mean the battle for a soul. Heaven against Hell. Love against evil. I want to fight. I want to take a bad day where I dont feel like giving love and fight against the feelings that seem to trap me. I want to fight for love. I want to reach out to each person I come across and leave them feeling hopeful and loved. Without hope you will die. I want to reassess my belongings and give away the unnecessary things. I have so much that others could use and yet it sits in boxes. How wasteful! I dont have much financially but with what I do have I want to make a difference. I want to help those who need help. I want to give to the hopeless. To give to the poor. I want each step to be directed my the Almighty Himself.

What if we all lived this way? What if our direction wasn't guided by how much more we can buy or where the comforts in life are but instead directed wherever God leads, comfy or not? How much different would our lives be?

What if I stopped following the "Jesus of Suburbia" and started living like the Jesus who lead 5,000 walking hundreds of miles to be the example of the change our world needed?

Thats who I want to be. Who do you want to be?

Historical Humor of the Day

2008-07-28T12:16:00.004-05:00

Recently I have been quite interested in religious history. As I was looking into the Popes who served the shortest reign I came across 4 Popes with a quite interesting story. At first I thought...this can't be true! This is crazy! But the story is true and I figured it would be a great laugh for anyones day.

In 896 Pope Boniface VI, a native of Rome, was elected as Pope. His reign lasted only 15 days. At the time there was much uproar about the death of the previous Pope Formosus.

Why was Boniface only Pope for 15 days you ask? 2 stories given.
#1 He died of Gout.
#2 He was "forcibly ejected" or murdered to make room for Steven VI who was from the Spoletian Party.

Who was the Spoletian Party? A very highly regarded and wealthy group of people, who has MUCH say in the choices of the day.

Basically, this was all politics and not some God lead decision for Pope. I am with story #2 that Boniface was probably killed.

This brings us to Pope Steven VI whose reign was for 15 months. This Pope was remembered in history for his actions during his reign.

This is where things get good! This could be made into a movie! Oh the drama!

So Pope Steven VI was angry and being pressured by the Spoletian Contingent about charges being brought up against late deceased Pope Formosus. (Charges that seem quite minor I must say)

So good ol Steve, Pope Steve that is.... has Pope Formosus remains dug up so that he could put his corpse on trial. Yes! His corpse! Once on the stand, Pope Formosus, being of no say obviously, was given a deacon to answer for him.

The trail was called the Cadaver Synod and held in Jan. 897.

Pope Formosus' corpse was found guilty. Hmm? I think he needed better representation! He was then stripped of his sacred vestments, deprived of three fingers of its right hand (the blessing fingers), clad in the garb of a layman, and quickly buried.

WoW! They dug up a dead guy and punished him!!?? Crazy!

Soon after he was re-buried, he was dug up and then thrown into the Tiber River by Pope Steven VI.

I am thinking this Pope has some MAJOR issues, which makes me say that Pope Boniface was killed because who would have elected this moron!

One of the other "hear say" moments of this trial is that Pope Steven VI asked the dead corpse a question and obviously because the corpse was unable to speak back in his defense his "lack of representation" deacon answered for him saying..."Because I am evil!" (I wonder if the deacon was actually just afraid of Pope Steven VI?)

Pope Steven VI was strangled and murdered during his reign and this moves us to Pope Theodore II. A man who ONLY reigned for 20 days before his death. But, it his 20 day reign he had Pope Formosus dead corpse found, in the Tiber River, brought out, and buried properly.

Finally! Poor Pope Formosus. He was buried, dug up, punished, buried, dug up, thrown into a river to float for 4 months, and finally properly re-buried.

If they would have taught stories like this in my High School history class, I may have actually come everyday!

So interesting!

Go Green! Or is it give your green?

2008-07-23T23:54:00.009-05:00

So as the world proves to grow stranger by the day we come to the Sharpton-Robertson Save the World Campaign.

Ok, I will try to short end my jokes, and believe me there are many. But as I read this I did some thinking.

So Big Al wants to save the world, oh sorry...."The environment" and with his frenemy & Cayman Islands gold mining mogul, Pat Robertson. Ok, so it's an interesting idea. But who came up with this load of crap? Were Paris and Nicole unavailable? I'm lost for words. Ok maybe not...

Here are a few things to consider as tax evasion experts Big Al & Media-Prophet Pat embark on their journey to save the planet.

Sharpton believes that African Americans should not have to pay taxes but that they should donate to his campaign to save the very planet where they don't have to pay taxes. Hmmm

Robertson wants to help with the "quality of life" and the assassination of Hugo Chavez at the same time.

Both Sharpton & Robertson are calling out for a "Bold Change" and "Innovative Leadership". Are they talking about within themselves or their save the planet gimick?? I sure hope its for themselves.

Sharpton & Robertson want to help bring solar power to low-income residents. Awesome! But are any of these the people who shouldnt have to pay taxes Al? Just wondering....your past agendas have been a bit schemish, although Im all for helping the poor. Just wondering.

Both parties would also like us to make "Climate friendly personal choices". I personally think this is a great idea! I just wonder if Robertson's personal tax evading, Island Gold drillers will be using eco-friendly-planet-saving materials and machinery, as they help to increase his bank account.

These 2 wonderful gentlemen would also like to see us donate to this fund. I was just thinking that maybe if Al upped some of that pocketed campaign money and Robertson used the money he should be paying in taxes for all of his off shore mining, maybe they wouldnt even need our help?? Just an idea guys.

So don't get me wrong. I know "Green" is all the fad right now and we should all take action. Heck, I am all about lowered gas prices and utilizing solar energy! Bring it on. But, couldn't they have found ANYONE else to represent the cause?? The fact that Big Al & Prophesying Pat are the ones being used as representatives in this campaign for a better planet just makes me feel like....Well, why didnt anyone we actually respect, or even slightly respect, Oh geez...Paris Hilton could have made me want to help with this campaign more than these 2 clowns! Seriously!!! This is like using O.J. in the fight against domestic abuse.

Just ridiculous!

Pain for Purpose

2008-07-21T15:47:00.008-05:00

To Write Love On Her Arms

We've all been there in some way or form. The moment when life's despair is handed to you on a not-so-silver platter. I remember the times of pain in my own life. The struggles, the disappointments, the hurt created by people who were supposed to love me. Its all there still, barely faded. Yet because of true Love, the pain has lessened and scars removed.

When I was a teenager growing up in a girls state facilitated group home, I remember what it felt like to lose hope. To feel abandoned and lifeless, yet still going through the motions of each day. I used many different things to self medicate. My goal: To relieve the pain and hurt for even only a moment.

Drugs, alcohol, self mutilation,sex....you name it. I just wanted to feel better. I just wanted to make the pain disappear.

I am not the only person who has gone through this. Many teens and young adults use the same methods to end their pain, even if just for a moment. The statistics show increased use of these methods within the teenagers of today. It's horrifying to think of and even more horrifying to see a teen not given the help or hope they need, only to end their life by their own hands.

TWLOHA is an organization with a story. A story about a girl names Renee, in a world of many girls just like herself. Her story is very familiar. It brought tears as I read her hurt and pain. Familiar tears. In order to help fund the money to begin to make a difference in these kids lives TWLOHA is selling T-shirts,totes, and accessories according to their cause.

The book Purpose from Pain was recently released because of Renee's story.
I urge anyone who is interested to read more about the cause.

Click here for site TWLOHA.com

Lord of the Flies

2008-07-21T12:34:00.003-05:00

Summary of Exodus 10-20 (my words)

God appeared in a cloud to the Israelite community in the Desert. The Lord told Moses that He heard their needs and would supply meat in the evening and bread in the morning. That evening the camp was covered with quail and that next morning bread appeared on the ground. God said to gather as much as needed. Moses commanded they NOT keep any for the next day though. Some ignored Moses and kept some leftover (probably in fear of not having food for the next day). But come the next morning, those who kept the food ended up with food that smelled and lay full of maggots.

I read this when I am trusting God for my each and every need. I have begun to notice this theme in my own life. I will ask God for so much and yet He will supply me the exacts of what I need for that day. Yet, I worry for the future. I try to stock up and trust in my gatherings. But if I am not trusting God for each day am I really trusting God?

I have felt time and time again that when I have enough for the week, then I trust God about every 7 days. Once the weeks supply has depleted, I then go back and beg for Gods help. How much more is it that I need to come to God each day and say...Lord please provide just enough for us today? How much better is our relationship when I desperately seek and lean on Him for todays portion? All I can say is just that much sweeter! Daily trust brings the sweetest bread!!

I look at that story in Exodus and I understand those who tried to keep the extra. I mean honestly, when you have nothing you try to salvage anything that comes about. We are like little pack rats when the supply is low. We lean on our own ability to sparingly use any resource we have.

But, God didnt say to them, here is a "little" be careful with it. He said, here I give freely all you will need for today, eat all you like. Fill your bellies. Tonights dinner is on me! And to make it even better, tomorrows breakfast is on me, come and get it. Eat till you are satisfied and don't worry where your next meal will come from!

How awesome!!! And what did so many of them do? They worried. They salvaged. They awoke to the annoying buzzing of a fly in their ear. (oh do I hate when a fly gets in the house and keeps buzzing around me when I am sleeping!)

So I wonder, how are you doing with your daily trust? Has your worry brought you some God sent flies buzzing around you?

MuffinTop Stats

2008-07-20T19:05:00.002-05:00

Ok so my weight loss blog through Mac has gone haywire and I am just posting here. You can see my past posts at the weight loss blog tab above.

I did ok this week, but I did have fast food which gets me every time!

I lost 1lb and gained 1 lb back so I guess we are going to have to go with no loss this week. But today is a new day and it starts a fresh week. One where I plan on losing weight!

Todays Weight: 180

Last Week: 180

Goal Weight 140

Goal time: At least to 155 by Nov.

Gettin' Off our Comfy Assets

2008-07-19T12:16:00.007-05:00

"Frances Chan, lead Pastor of Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley, Calif., has a problem not unlike many fast-growing evangelical bodies: It is running out of room.

His 4,000-person suburban congregation hopes to construct a new facility soon on 138 acres of private land just west of the city limits. But building plans for the proposed 3,000-seat sanctuary defy church conventions.

The blueprints include no foyer space or coffee bars, no windows or doors, and no walls or roof. Cornerstone intends to hold services outside.

The idea of constructing a massive outdoor amphitheater in lieu of a more traditional brick-and-mortar structure developed out of church leadership meetings on financial stewardship. Lead pastor Francis Chan, a resolute advocate for simplicity and generosity, has instilled the virtue of frugality into his congregation and staff. Chan has downsized into a 1,000-square-foot home for his family of six in the interest of devoting more personal resources to caring for the poor."

I read through this article today and thought, I want to be part of THIS church! A church whose target is NOT to concentrate on its members comfort and need for entertainment. Not to concentrate on comfy seats, coffee, bars, and whatever else they can do to make our "entertainment" driven Christian consumer feel good, but to take what We, the Church, naturally blow money on and to give the money to those in need. That's a real church. One with a mission. A church (both staff and members) that is not focused on what they are getting out of it but what they are giving of themselves so that others may have even one simple luxury such as food and shelter.

I have high hopes for Chan. As I lay my head down tonight I will be lifting up Pastor Chan and his church body. I pray he has an impact on many of the churches today, and that he will stand out as an example to what the Church should be focusing on.

Thank you Pastor Chan for being the hands and feet of a church thats maily made of comfy butts.

And thanks Bill & Tiffany for this article!

A Valentine's Day Mission

2008-02-14T13:17:00.001-06:00

A little over a year ago a girlfriend and myself started a single mom's small group at our church. The group was a great success and so many women took part. The one thing I have noticed while both leading a small group and just partaking in one is how hard it can be to complete the homework that is so often included. If you have ever joined a Beth Moore study you surely know what I mean. When I didnt complete the homework I felt guilt and skipped that week. I had many girls who join our study do the exact same thing. another issue was how hard it was to get people to commit to and 8 or 12 week study. Things come up and soon they feel that they have missed to much, and so they dont come.

Recently I changed the small group look. A once 12 week group was changed into a 4 week group. Why? Because 4 weeks are easier to commit to that 8 or 12. Women LOVED this idea! It finally felt achievable for them. As for homework I changed that too. Instead of homework I decided that a weekly challenge would be more fun and easier to commit to. Now thats not to say in the future we won't do a homework study but this has been a great experience with using challenges instead. Once again it felt more achievable to them.

So with this week being Valentine's day and our single mom's group turned....come one, come all.....married, unmarried, divorced, or whatever your status these women had a great challenge this week I would love to share.

This week our girls were given the tools necessary to begin a mission. The mission field location: WORK

They were given bags, pictured below, with the much needed supplies to make the day of a single woman. These days there are so many single women in the workplace, many single moms. They sit next to those women who are receiving flowers from their husbands and showing them off all day long, only further reminding our single ladies of their loneliness. I remember how this felt when I was in corporate America. It wasnt a good feeling. It sucked to be honest.

But today many women will be receiving the gift of cookies, wrapped nicely in heart decorated paper with a loving note telling them tat they are loved and should feel special even if they are single right now. Signed....from an anonymous friend.

The girls were so excited! In each bag was pre-made cookie dough, decorated paper to wrap them in and pretty string to tie it with. I have already received calls from the girls today about how exciting this has been for them. To be somewhat of a "Secret Sister". Again, attached is our bag and the final product. Enjoy!

Spaghetti for the Soul

2008-02-10T11:47:00.000-06:00

This weekend I was so blessed to be able to attend the Spaghetti for the Soul women's conference in our area. Enjoy a few pics fro our event!

Sign in....

Books, music, overn mits???, t-shirts and more!

A little noodle trivia

Cafe. Free coffee ladies!!

Kathy Troccoli

Ellie Lafaro...

Both the ladies...always very entertaining....

Me and Kathy....

Our girls...

The two Julie's....

Our great group of women.

iSoft Wars

2007-06-27T09:57:00.001-05:00

In Lieu of Apples newest addition the iPhone, here is the latest from Microsoft.

Take that Apple! lol

Todays 40 Day Blogger is Chaotic Hammer.

Monday's Featured 40 Day Blogger

2007-06-25T08:13:00.001-05:00

Todays featured blogger is Shaun Groves.
Check it out!

Todays 40 Day Blogger

2007-06-24T18:34:00.000-05:00

Todays 40 Day Fast featured blogger is Sam.

Sara, Queen of Packing

2007-06-23T20:45:00.000-05:00

For the last week I have sat here staring at what all needs to be packed. Yes, I said staring....not packing. I have been so overwhelmed with where to start, what to get rid of and how I was going to do it on my own. After 5 years here I have collected a huge amount of crap! I always seem to think that I will need something down the line and I keep it. Bad idea!

Today my best friend Sara came over. Thank God for friends like her!!! She is one of those people who can come in and see this all as no big deal. She knows where to start and she makes me throw things away that I swear I will use one day. These are the kind of friends I need. So after many hours I must say we have completed the majority of the house. The rest is little stuff but she came and took care of all the BIG stuff.

As a single parent there are times when I get really ticked with God for not bringing a husband into my life. This is one of those times. Before Sara offered her help I was kind of upset because I felt like if I had a husband he would be here to help me. At that moment when I was feeling this way I received a phone call from Sara saying she would be over to help me. God provides. Maybe not a husband but a damn good friend!

This is Sara packing away. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

The 40 Day Fast; Get involved

2007-06-23T10:45:00.000-05:00

Here's the deal...

Who:
40 bloggers who will each fast for 1 day.

What:
They will blog about the experience as well as an area of need in the world (either a cause or a country) and an organization that strives to meet that need.

They will also link to the blogger who is fasting on each day of the fast and encourage their readers to join the fast on the 40th day.

Why:
The purpose behind it is to give people an opportunity to:
1. Experience a bit of need
2. Learn about the need in the world
3. Do something about it

When:
The fast starts on June 22, 2007 and ends on July 31, 2007

Where:
The blogosphere.

How:
We need you. We've got all 40 bloggers for the fast but here are some other ways you can get involved:

Follow along each day and read about each of the causes.
Place one of the logos on the sidebar of your blog.
Post a link each day to the blogger who is fasting.
Join us in fasting on the 40th day (July 31st).
Get involved in one of the organizations mentioned each day.
Start your own 40 day fast from your blog.

Today's Featured blogger in "The Fast" is Brant Hansen. Click here to read.

Here is my part in this...
Each day I will add the featured person of the day to the end of my post.
I will commit to praying for the people and organizations. (Join me please)
I will also be writing about some of the organizations I believe in within the next 40 days.

Surprise Visitors

2007-06-22T14:12:00.000-05:00

My immediate and extended family lives spread across the U.S.
We do not see each other often but once a year we all meet in Ohio for what I consider,"Dysfunctional Holiday Bliss!" (Check the pics out!)

But today we had some surprise visitors!

My brother Jake from Cape Cod, Cousin Kelsey from Ohio, and her dad Steve.

They are here searching out possible colleges to attend in Fall 2008. I am so excited for them! Here are the pics I took with my crappy camera phone.

Jake and my son Joey who couldn't seem to not make a silly face for the camera.

Kelsey and my grandmother.

If I had a million dollars......or even $1500

2007-06-09T12:58:00.000-05:00

I would go here....

Carpri, Italy. Located just off the Naples coastline.

I love to travel and I am really wanting a vacation right now. Not just any vacation but to find a place where most people I know have not visited. A place where you can get lost in your surroundings and never want to leave.

One of the key excursions on this island is the Azzurra Grotta, also know as the Blue Grotto. In past times the Blue Grotto was known as a bath house for Roman Emperors such as Tiberius. (Ohhh take me now!!!)

I don't just want to vacation in a place that has a beach with little umbrellas and lawn chairs. I want a vacation that has a beach, umbrellas, histoic sights, and of course great food! I want to go some place where no one else I know has gone. I want a private location that I have to search out, not just some known vacation spot.

Another great place in Capri is the Faraglioni rock formations. I am so interested in seeing such natural formed beauty. Rocks like these remind me of how great God is and how important beauty is to Him too.

If I had a million dollars I would go here and take all of my friends. But if I could only save up $1500....I would be goin' it alone! (And camping on the beach cause that only covers airfare)

And The Mountain Got Up and Walked Away

2007-05-22T09:06:00.000-05:00

Mark 11:23
"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.

Sometimes my mountains are small and somedays like today they are much larger. Today I am reminded of how easily I can toss that mountain which is 10,000,000x the size of me out of my way with my faith.

My heart knows that in the situation I am in prayer about that through my faith the mountains will crumble before my eyes. Although the mountain may not crumble the way I believe it should.....it will definitly be moved by faith.

Thank you God for reminding me that no matter the situation, you have your hand upon me. Without your love I am nothing! Without you in my life I have nothing! And without your voice guiding me I will go no where!

Job 37:5
God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding.

Although I dont understand why I am given second chances I still go back to thinking that I hope God knows me and see's that there is so much more to me than mess ups. I know that He see's my heart in a way no one else can see or understand it. Thank you God for knowing me. Thank you for blessing me in the ways you have. And with my faith I know this mountain will be tossed into the sea.

The Resolution List Begins!

2006-12-20T11:02:00.000-06:00

Well its that time of year again. Jan. 1st is steadily creeping up. Every year I set new goals for myself. In 2006 I am quite sure I accomplished about.....none of them! But 2007 is a new year. A new time for goal setting and a new time for keeping on myself to reach them.

One of my "Goals" (we will not be using the word resolution) is to lose weight. This year I am starting a diet challenge with a friend. A friend who is sadly going to lose to an overcompetitive woman. We set the steaks at $150 and we will weight in every 2 weeks to see each others progress.

I am really quite competitive. Like seriously! Yet I am only this way in certain areas. Some areas I could care less if I win or not.....but involve money....and know you will lose! =)

2 years ago I entered a diet challege with a large group of women from work. It was a 5 month challenge and in the last 5 weeks I lost enough weight to end up the winner. Woo Hoo! A $200 win! I was soooooo excited!!!!! So, I am sure I can do it again. Although the other party may be better at sticking to the diet than I am, so that could be a disadvantage point for me.

Another of my goals is......to quit smoking!!! I keep saying I am going to and each year I get to Jan 1st and I am still an avid smoker. So this year I am vowing to quit!!!

My most important goal is to focus on God more than anything this year. I seem to let in distractions sometimes and I want 2007 to be different. I am sure some distractions will come my way but I am hoping I can handle the them better than I have in the past.

I feel like 2007 is going to be a year for purity. Purifying my mind and my body. Getting out all of the junk and renewing myself and my relationship with God.

I think that there is a lot of work to come in the next year for me. This will include my challenges at work, a group leader for the single moms group and my personal life.

Overall I think 2006 went well with some mistakes that I will learn from. I can only hope to make better decisions in my life in the upcoming year and allow God to lead in a way I may not have let Him before.

Casualties on the High Road

2006-07-02T15:14:00.000-05:00

I love animals. I do not own any and probably will not ever but I do enjoy them. They all have their own personalities. Some are so furry and cute! I especially love to sit outside and enjoy the creatures that God has made to roam wild and untamed. I view myself much like these animals. They freely wonder the earth on their very own paths and ways of life. Comparred to your typical house cat these animals that are not tame can seem quite different, even barbaric or like noncivilized warriors of the world. They go out into the trenches of life everyday. Sometimes they make it, sometimes they dont. Well today a mad road hound came through the lives of 2 of them and took them out. The poor little things didnt have a chance. Lives so quickly taken, as I watch through my rear view mirror and see them flopping off to their last breaths.

Yes, that road hound was me!!!! My gosh! I have NEVER hit an animal.....well at least not until todays tragedies. First I have a bird who literally just flies right into my car....and as I glance back in the mirror a horrible image of life lost is seen. Oh my, it was horrible!!! I was screaming and freaking out!! I cant explain what a gross feeling that is to hit an animal. Not to mention about 30 seconds later, still screaming and freaking out.......watching yet another animal walk right into its death!!! You've got to be joking me! I mean come on 2 times in less than 1 minute??? What is this National Animal Suicide Day??? So today we are mourning the loss of Mr. Rob In Birdy and....... well it was either Alvin, Simon, or Theodore that came next.

I just dont get it??? I have never ever have hit an animal and today I hit 2. I mean come on, is this a sign??? Maybe its a sign that I need my Caribou so that I am more alert in the mornings. Speaking of Caribou, I am now sober for almost 24 hours and darn proud of it. I resisted the urge to stop for just one itsy bitsy venti this morning. But had I stopped, 2 animals would still be alive. Alvin would be home with his family and Rob-In would be home with his. Maybe I need to stop for coffee next time I am out, so that I can prevent any further misfortunes in the lives of our fellow untamed animals. What a marketing scheme I have here!

Drink Caribou, It Saves Lives!!

I think I may have something big.....well at least for SNL. They would probably like it.

Caribou:The Enemy, Diary of an addict.

2006-06-30T14:56:00.000-05:00

It has officially been 24 hours since my last sip of caribou. Every inch of my being is screaming for just a little sip!!! GOD, help me!!!! When I woke up it was all I could think of. A few hours ago the headache kicked in. This must be what drug addicts experience when they are trying to quit. I am sure it is much worse on them, kinda like me trying to give up smoking....not gonna happen (well on my own at least).

There is such a love hate story going on with my Caribou. Its my friend. Its my enemy.
And I know I shouldnt have it......but I want it so bad!!! At least to make this headache go away.

Soon I think I may fall asleep at my desk. This is all to much for me!!!

I am an addict.